39 videos

peace in drifting life in eye of violence typhoon.

a bright day.^recent days dogs tried to exert terrorism over my cloudless sky.
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sunny day sees this summer once lavish wading into river of golden memory.

Its a raining day this morning, exactly as Chinese lunar calendar indicting, Chushu, 处暑, summer heat is over. i walked barely in rain with my work suite, ie.
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a sunny day brings lasting taste of lavish summer

these 2 or 3 days mostly pale, but its dusk mostly in lovable breeze. i spent more time on the garden bench wondering my new life with my beloved girls.
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silence resolved to make change.

These days find more pleasure in baby, the God of Universe, who in dream informed me he is indeed my dearest son in our trinity. he enjoys more under my custody, and i tried my best to cater to his play.
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gathered praying for new life, for new nest for new start.

baby's mom, emakingir, likely brewing revenge these days. several times she kept smiling but tentatively hurt me by broke her promise not to do due tasks.
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forever union with baby son, God of Universe.

yesterday is the day i treated baby son, warrenzh, owner of domain warozhu.com, second since my returned from hometown journey.
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new peace in praying, praying for my new marriage.

the journey from my hometown, Zhudajiu, to Qiqihar, where baby son, warrenzh, lives with his mom, emakingir, cost me 3 days. ticket was bought by the sinful nephew who hated me for a long time against the glory my family shines.
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rains and clouds, that's all bliss sacred

8/6/2010 a beautiful rain night.^dinner is delicious. adding sidebar widgets to family clogs. the rain turns heavier in night. dirt around challenged me severely first&last quite some time. didn't buzz baby. attending d/l till 10:29pm went to bed. read&attending d/l since got up.^it rained all night. dreamed of baby son, but can't remember now. patiently waited for download some games from web. buzzed baby's mom, emakingir for several times but unaccessible. today is memorial day of our wedding ceremony back to 2002. missing baby son very much these days. it drizzled all time today, but i felt extraordinary blessed&secure. missing Masheng, girl zhou, girl lü, in my screaming of songs in dad's old house in rain cats&dogs. after lunch, ema talked to me online, God don't refuse what she dreams after or for. as to me, i quite satisfied by my new portable disk&collection of games&warez from the most endeared Internet. God, i never live apart a second with my baby son, God of Universe, U know!! i love him, u, so much! 9/6/2010 decision to return to baby son&aftermath.^last afternoon i felt pains, as well as inspiring from baby when i review family album online. decided to return Qiqihar to see him. God purified me with rains cats&dogs, and weeping cloudy. waited till baby returned from his kindergarten&buzzed in. baby received my call, permit my quit from my hometown Zhudajiu. informed elder sisters about my decision&asking help me buy train tickets on way to county city. rested in night with TV. then baby's mom, emakingir buzzed in, changed my choice by her possible tour with baby to Zhudajiu next month if she was allowed to stay with new grade sixth students in new term as she did now. baby again didn't talk to me in air, but i assured his mom i will be Ok if baby don't missing me now. informed elder sisters the new decision, waiting here till see if baby with his mom can visit the village in summer vacation. dreamed of baby again.^dreamed of cult sales or M
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God, my dad, shown me death and fate of family tree, on his scary land.

11/5/2010 yesterday is an important memory for me, in my hometown journey 2nd, for i earnestly talk to and with God, my passed dad. the day just after some chilly raining days, i read most of the day near my dad's old house's front door, which rightly monitored by the evil dark house's owner, the second husband of my early passed aunt, a diligent woman who left me life time memory, a said once bare poor in the village before the new republic China. the demon's window just peeking our front door, just under a slope. the demon polluted me all the day with his tomb chill, so when i felt reading enough, i haunted the village's hall with my camera. but the front square of the village don't gather any interesting young men as usual, so i picked to travel the newly developing wing of the village, where most of the offspring of the dark house owner shifted their houses to, as well as other minor or confluent family trees in the village where almost all residents in family name Zhu. its a fruitful tour, in which my blended memory and anxiousness called forth. the back hill is the main well being source of the villagers, but all that led by my passed dad when he left his factory for injury on his toes in a blast in rocks and returned to the village. he continued his work with steer tools to make use of stones on our back hill for bridges or other building usage, by unearthed them, sorted them, trimmed&polish them for ready brick or block or other frameworks. his works not only support my education which is the best among my sisters and brothers, but forges my best cherished memory and hope and belief and lifestyle on being a man. that occurred amid the transition China opening to the world from deadly locked communism doctrine. the young villagers gradually all follow my dad's lead and improved their lives a lot in these decades by producing tombstone from the hill. but the village, or town, badly need a new business pattern in coming eras. in the tour, i not only led by wor
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raining days, dirt&coldness from history cleansed.

9/4/2010 its my first time since my departure from the village to climbing on the Chinese social ladder by schooling near twenty years ago, that chill even in early summer in raining day so prevailing. within 2 days i cough a lot, and loathed to open my notebook to dig on my web presence. God, the rain surely killing dirt by draining the polluting&poisoning, and saving the thirsty. God, this morning u let me got up lately and talked with u, Masheng, my Japanese Crowned Queen, so many bliss in my life ahead. just in the mid of dirt&challenge from the demon in the front dark house of my dad's old house, some village girl students visited here again. i let them watching animation online and played pc games. its a cloudy day, but warmth resumed, and i likely wouldn't suffer cold since now. last night baby son talked to me, even just let me know that he is busy with bathing and wouldn't talk to me. this morning i dreamed a lot in the adversity he was virtually surrounded. God, u know how i love him, God of Universe, Hope of China. hopefully i can gift him with a new Dell notebook in this year end, which delayed by evil in QRRS, my once and long time employer, with which his&mom and myself, as well as baby son, all improves to a satisfying working and entertaining platform with the hardware. now, time to close this verse, my dear, my beloved, God sees how i missing u, in this anonymous countryside, my heart forever links to u, to the golden moments we shared. i praying with earnest&assurance the coming years will see we live together in our palace that's dream scape. bye. benzrad's comments in these days: Chinese poor quality, including software and ethic. there is no way out for Chinese enterprises don't cooperate with world company. China in a total under dictation had to fail in near future. that's no doubt. Chinese culture has to change, to repent to align with advanced world, or world ahead, for their history of misleading belief, national renegade. Go
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